Annie Lane

Dear Annie: “Torn Between Passion and Stability” reminds me of my own story. As a college freshman, I studied accounting, which seemed the destiny of many young men like me. I found it boring and totally uninspiring. However, I felt locked into this career path because of family pressure to study “business” and be successful.

During the summer after freshman year, I talked with the guard at the entrance to the food warehouse where I had a summer job. He was an elementary school principal who was working for the summer at the warehouse. We talked, and I thought about how much I loved elementary school as a child.

I returned to college and changed my major field of study to a path leading to licensure to teach in elementary schools. I was delighted with the course of study and after graduation embarked on a long and thoroughly joyful career. I am now retired but reflect daily on the happiness I experienced and the beautiful memories of a career filled with human interaction and the rewards that come with helping others to have a more fulfilling life. — Follow the Joyful Path

Dear Follow the Joyful Path: What a beautiful letter. I’m sure you have created many beautiful memories for your students over the years as well.

Dear Annie: I’m a 16-year-old girl and I just finished my junior year of high school. I’ve been excited for summer because it means we get a break from school and because I have a lifeguard job at the community pool. Even though summer break has been a lot of fun, I’m starting to feel pressure from my friends to drink and do drugs. I was invited to more parties during junior year than ever before, and I know of a few boys who just graduated that are planning parties these next few months before they go to college.

At these parties, I’ve noticed how many of my peers are hooking up, drinking beer and smoking pot. I’ve never been interested in any of those things and can usually brush off getting involved (I smoked a cigarette once, but I didn’t like it). But I’m starting to feel like I’m going to be left out if I don’t join in. I know what they’re doing can be dangerous, but I’m not sure how much longer I can keep telling my friends no. I’m worried they’ll either make fun of me or get mad at me.

I feel at a loss. I don’t want to get in trouble, but I also don’t want to lose my friends. — Teen Tired of Not Fitting In

Dear Tired Teen: Anyone who pokes fun at or gets mad at you for sticking to your boundaries isn’t a true friend. It’s perfectly OK to attend social functions and bond with your peers without drinking, smoking or doing anything else that makes you uncomfortable. A simple, “No, thanks, I’m not interested,” politely shuts down offers on the spot and accurately represents how you feel.

You should be proud of honoring and staying true to yourself. A lot of other kids your age would give in to the peer pressure despite how they feel deep down. It’s not always easy, but it’s the right choice to make.

“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.